Well, yesterday I was at DaWanda’s make-it-shop-it-blog-it-event, and Holly Becker of decor8 was there as a guest-speaker, as well as luziapimpinella. Lots of the things Holly advised while spreading the gospel of blogging I already knew (and try to put into practice), but one thing she emphasized really stung: consistency. Of that I know, too, it’s true that I myself are disappointed when a blog I like and bookmark is neglected for a while. But it’s the thing that’s really hard for me to implement. And a good part during the rest of her and Nic’s speech I kept myself asking why. I came up with several reasons:
My life is busy. My life was busy before I started crafting and sewing more than one or two projects a year. I have a demanding job, more than just a job, a profession I take seriously (and which pays the mortgage). And even more important I have a family, people whose well-being is vital to my own well-being. And friends I wouldn’t want to miss. A household and a garden, duties and joys like most of you have. I decided to share the highlights of this life with you here on this blog.
So the hours I have for myself are rare and usually when everyone else here went to bed. I like to spend this time with you, crafting community, I just have to split it up between reading lots of all your lovely blogs, actually making something, doing the photos and writing this blog. Sometimes Usually something falls when juggling.
Then I don’t know where this all will lead to, and I came to realize lately that it’s unlikely for me to carve a living out of this. When I came across all these design and craft blogs about two years ago, I was so inspired and yearning to be a part of this community I was almost as rest- and sleepless as a toddler’s mum again. And like a toddlers developmental phases like teething, walking, speeking etc. I experienced a development from reading and discovering all those extremely inspiring blogs to do more sewing myself to starting a shop on DaWanda to finally blogging myself. And whenever there is a new phase in the pipeline it’s time for sleepless nights and daytime struggles to accomodate. But unlike a toddler growing up I’m not sure if and when this morningflower-thing ever matures and: into what? These doubts after the initial enthusiasm may have led to a slightly sluggish attitude towards this blog-thing, as well as the feeling that there might be enough craft-blogs out there, personally I don’t bookmark as many blogs I stumble upon as I used to, I just know I won’t have the time to keep reading…
And there is a side of my personality that I struggle with (but I’m sure I’m not alone): I tend to avoid something I’ve neglected for too long, e.g. the ironing pile, accounting and filing invoices, going to the dentist, congratulate a friend after her birthday (I really am soooo sorry, Karin!) and blogging after too many things to post have happened. As soon as I’ve thought of doing something, it’s as if I actually did the thing (I know I didn’t, it just feels a bit like). But when I wake up at night I can’t ignore my bad consciousness any longer, I toss and turn, but it’s just not the time to finally make that appointment with the dentist. Next morning things don’t look that bad any more, and, well, life comes in between… besides, it’s really awkward ringing up my friend a month after that birthday I forgot, so, well, today I don’t have the courage, maybe tomorrow… urgs… Confessions. But don’t worry, usually I do get things done finally, hey, I’m writing this post right now, almost midnight…. The pang (or the kick in the b…) has to be big enough, though. Now I got this kick from Holly.
Related is my striving for perfection, I tend not to publish before everything is finished, the links, the photos (I deleted some drafts because the photos were more out of focus than usual), the translation. It takes time, sometimes so much that it’s outdated before being posted.
This post will go out into the world without any photos or a translation, because today I choose consistency before perfection, consistency before chronologically posting all the other things I wanted to post before, consistency and honesty before procrastination and consistency before knowing anyone’s interested. Today I even choose consistency before sleep (but after StarWars Episode II the males around here had to watch on eyeTV). Thank you, Holly Becker.